There is always a high level of excitement and optimism when you begin a new venture. You romanticize the process in your head. You visualize how things will look once your goal is ultimately achieved.
While you understand that the process will be imperfect, your optimism often glosses over what those imperfections may actually look like. Looking back, it was easy to convince myself that I was prepared for setbacks, and my expectations were adequately managed.
In some ways they were… in many ways they were not.
There is a large gap between acknowledging that things will go wrong, and dealing with them when they inevitably do. This gap is where frustration kicks in, where you start to feel discouraged, where you realize that what you thought you mentally prepared for feels much harder when you’re living it.
Unsurprisingly, the hypothetical obstacles you make up in your head are much easier to overcome than the ones you live with day to day when your money and time are on the line.
Many times I found myself frustrated with the process. I told myself that I expected imperfection, but then got frustrated when these imperfections materialized. How can it be that I become frustrated with the very thing that I expected to happen?
This is because it’s not your expectations of an outcome or your ‘mental preparation’ that drives you through obstacles. It’s the character traits you have, or are forced to develop, that withstand the test you face… and in this case the trait being tested was patience.
Without patience you become frustrated, you try to rush outcomes, your decision making focuses on the fastest path rather than the best one, you find less enjoyment in the process because you are too focused on the destination. I cycled through all these of these things over the past 8 months which created some unpleasant moments that were no fault other than my own.
To try to boil these thoughts into a concise soundbite I would say: understand the underlying characteristics that are being tested by your situation, and address those internal shortfalls directly. Difficult times always test your character, but it is only your character that gets you through difficult times.
If you want to become patient, should you be given everything you want immediately?
If you want to become courageous, should you avoid taking risk?
The characteristics you need to achieve what you set forth to do, always sit on the other side of experiences that force you to develop them